Shoes, a vital accessory to some girls’ overall attire. Hours spent shopping, hundreds of dollars spent on the perfect stilettos, to make you strut your stuff in just the right way!

Did you spend the same time and energy shopping for your bridesmaid’s shoes as you did your own? While shopping for the bridesmaid dresses did you have the perfect shoe envisioned with the dress to complete the outfit and encourage each gal to purchase it?

If you read my previous post about pre-wedding showers at onewed you would know my stance on controlling costs when it comes to your bridesmaids. I believe you have to prioritize what is important to you and ask your bridesmaids to spend money accordingly. For instance, if you are stuck on having your bachelorette party in Vegas – that is a plane flight and an expensive weekend that your girls are willing to pay – but maybe try to save them money on the dress and shoes. On the other hand, if you are a shoe girl, which I know many are, have a local bachelorette party (equally as fun) and have your girls splurge on the shoes to complete the outfit.

Another big consideration is who you pick to be in your wedding and what they are comfortable wearing. My five foot friend will not be comfortable in flats, while my 5′9 friend will feel awkward in 5 inch heels. If you are getting married outside, heels will make your walk down the aisle a bit wobbly. Be realistic when planning the shoe attire! (Realistic doesn’t mean boring!)

Finally, if shoes are not a concern to you, let your bridesmaids be comfortable and choose their own. Give them a color and let them find a style they will wear again. The variety will reflect each gal’s personality while letting them walk down your aisle in confidence.

I want to hear from you… were shoes for your bridal party a big concern or was that an item you left open for your bridesmaids to decide?

Throughout the year of planning, whether you realize it or not, you ask a lot of your friends and family members.  You ask them for their time while joining you on appointments, you ask them for their energy, you ask them for their money in the form of gifts and traveling etc and you ask them for an ear to listen to as you discuss, vent or decide on vital details of the day.  Your friends and family offer you their time and energy because they love you and support you, but that doesn’t mean that a simple thank you once and awhile isn’t important!

Don’t let thank you notes pile up. After each shower, bachelorette party or wedding gift comes in – make a point to get a thank you card out within two weeks.  Trust me, your family will notice if they don’t receive a thank you note! Since there are so many online registries, and gifts are ordered and shipped without even going in the store, many friends might wonder if you even got the gift if they do not receive a thank you.

Take a moment at the rehearsal dinner to stand up and say thank you.  The group at the rehearsal is usually those who have been working the closest with the wedding and giving you most of their energy in one form or another – so give a quick speech.  Use specific names and say how they helped you!

Show your gratitude… in the chaos of the year… always say Thank You!!

Dear Bridesmaids,

This is a simple reminder that the day is not about you. I write this with an open mind that yes you might be wearing the most awful color dress, or the cut of the dress might make you look a few pounds heavier. Your ex might be standing up on the groom’s side and you may only get to see the bride once during the entire wedding reception, but this 12 hours is not about you.

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Planning a wedding is like putting together a huge puzzle, specifically a puzzle where you don’t know what the final picture will look like.  The key is that every bride has a different set of puzzle pieces.  No wedding will have the same pieces, which is why every wedding has a new fabulous final product.  No one can fully understand all of the hoops and twists it takes to gather the couple’s two families together for one day.

Your closest friend or family member has asked you to stand next to them in full support of their new marriage.  I suggest if you can’t fully support them you kindly turn down their offer.   Even if you think the songs of the wedding are outdated, or you are still holding a grudge against the groom from elementary school, none of that matters on their wedding day.

As a bridesmaid you are asked to stick to a pretty tight time schedule and give a lot of your energy to activities such as dress shopping, rehearsals and wedding talk that does not center around you.  Trust me , I understand that this can be wearing and you may even think that your best friend doesn’t care about whats going on in your life anymore. She does.

Maybe you are married and understand, but once you begin planning a wedding there are so many ideas, plans and projects going on in your head it is hard to think about much anything else.  All I can say to the girls standing to the right of the bride is to be patient.  Give the bride a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.  Let your bride go on and on about how the caterer is being difficult and the photographer hasn’t finished the engagement photos – because when it is your time around you will wish the same.    Don’t complain about the style of the wedding or the music being played, just enjoy it for what it is.  A perfectly designed wedding for your best friend’s day… not yours!

Finally, your opinion does matter.  Each bridesmaid was hand-picked as someone the bride feels has blessed her life.  Hearing rumors of one of her bridesmaids complaining about the cost of the dress or the taste of the food will hurt her. Think about who you are venting to – it will get around.

Just because it might not be your style of beautiful it is hers, and appreciate it for what it is … and thank your friend or family member for all of the time putting the puzzle together for their ideal day!

Here are some unique Bridesmaid and Groomsmen gifts I have found that I love:

For The Guys:

Perfect for Tailgating! Check out Vat19.com for details

Black Bar Glasses to hide the identity of your friends after a crazy night.  Order them at Catching Fireflies

Holds 5 Beers..Drink fast boys or it will quickly get warm! —> Catching Fireflies

For the Girls:

I love all of the creative designs these aprons from   offer.  You will have fun picking out a style that meets each women’s personality.  ——>Wrapables

Keep your door open with some style.  I love these high heel shoe stoppers!! —–> Spoon Sisters

Purse size cocktail shakers. Be able to mix up your favorite drink anywhere with a fashionable touch.  ——>Wrapables

Ok Brides, lets be honest with one another.  Does the thought of whether or not your bridesmaids can re-wear their dresses for your wedding truly go through you head?  Do you think about the colors of your chapel or reception first or is the tone that looks best with your maid of honor a strong consideration?  We have all seen 27 Dresses and laughed and the ridiculous designs that some weddings can produce. While at the time the themed dress or outrageous color seemed to fit into the day, how did it fit 1 year later?

What makes a bridesmaids dress re-wearable?

Color?

Style?

Length?

Now we are seeing many more trends with bridesmaids dresses, and I do believe brides are putting more of a focus on their friends than before.

Many brides are working with all black bridesmaids dresses, and letting each bridesmaid choose which style they want.  This is works well so everyone feels confident on the day of walking down the aisle.  During the winter months brides are using floor length dresses which are easily altered to cocktail or above the knee dresses worn to parties.

What are other considerations you put into your choice of bridesmaids dresses?