Did you spend the same time and energy shopping for your bridesmaid’s shoes as you did your own? While shopping for the bridesmaid dresses did you have the perfect shoe envisioned with the dress to complete the outfit and encourage each gal to purchase it?

If you read my previous post about pre-wedding showers at onewed you would know my stance on controlling costs when it comes to your bridesmaids. I believe you have to prioritize what is important to you and ask your bridesmaids to spend money accordingly. For instance, if you are stuck on having your bachelorette party in Vegas – that is a plane flight and an expensive weekend that your girls are willing to pay – but maybe try to save them money on the dress and shoes. On the other hand, if you are a shoe girl, which I know many are, have a local bachelorette party (equally as fun) and have your girls splurge on the shoes to complete the outfit.

Another big consideration is who you pick to be in your wedding and what they are comfortable wearing. My five foot friend will not be comfortable in flats, while my 5′9 friend will feel awkward in 5 inch heels. If you are getting married outside, heels will make your walk down the aisle a bit wobbly. Be realistic when planning the shoe attire! (Realistic doesn’t mean boring!)

Finally, if shoes are not a concern to you, let your bridesmaids be comfortable and choose their own. Give them a color and let them find a style they will wear again. The variety will reflect each gal’s personality while letting them walk down your aisle in confidence.

I want to hear from you… were shoes for your bridal party a big concern or was that an item you left open for your bridesmaids to decide?

Throughout the year of planning, whether you realize it or not, you ask a lot of your friends and family members.  You ask them for their time while joining you on appointments, you ask them for their energy, you ask them for their money in the form of gifts and traveling etc and you ask them for an ear to listen to as you discuss, vent or decide on vital details of the day.  Your friends and family offer you their time and energy because they love you and support you, but that doesn’t mean that a simple thank you once and awhile isn’t important!

Don’t let thank you notes pile up. After each shower, bachelorette party or wedding gift comes in – make a point to get a thank you card out within two weeks.  Trust me, your family will notice if they don’t receive a thank you note! Since there are so many online registries, and gifts are ordered and shipped without even going in the store, many friends might wonder if you even got the gift if they do not receive a thank you.

Take a moment at the rehearsal dinner to stand up and say thank you.  The group at the rehearsal is usually those who have been working the closest with the wedding and giving you most of their energy in one form or another – so give a quick speech.  Use specific names and say how they helped you!

Show your gratitude… in the chaos of the year… always say Thank You!!

This is a simple reminder that the day is not about you. I write this with an open mind that yes you might be wearing the most awful color dress, or the cut of the dress might make you look a few pounds heavier. Your ex might be standing up on the groom’s side and you may only get to see the bride once during the entire wedding reception, but this 12 hours is not about you.

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Planning a wedding is like putting together a huge puzzle, specifically a puzzle where you don’t know what the final picture will look like.  The key is that every bride has a different set of puzzle pieces.  No wedding will have the same pieces, which is why every wedding has a new fabulous final product.  No one can fully understand all of the hoops and twists it takes to gather the couple’s two families together for one day.

Your closest friend or family member has asked you to stand next to them in full support of their new marriage.  I suggest if you can’t fully support them you kindly turn down their offer.   Even if you think the songs of the wedding are outdated, or you are still holding a grudge against the groom from elementary school, none of that matters on their wedding day.

As a bridesmaid you are asked to stick to a pretty tight time schedule and give a lot of your energy to activities such as dress shopping, rehearsals and wedding talk that does not center around you.  Trust me , I understand that this can be wearing and you may even think that your best friend doesn’t care about whats going on in your life anymore. She does.

Maybe you are married and understand, but once you begin planning a wedding there are so many ideas, plans and projects going on in your head it is hard to think about much anything else.  All I can say to the girls standing to the right of the bride is to be patient.  Give the bride a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.  Let your bride go on and on about how the caterer is being difficult and the photographer hasn’t finished the engagement photos – because when it is your time around you will wish the same.    Don’t complain about the style of the wedding or the music being played, just enjoy it for what it is.  A perfectly designed wedding for your best friend’s day… not yours!

Finally, your opinion does matter.  Each bridesmaid was hand-picked as someone the bride feels has blessed her life.  Hearing rumors of one of her bridesmaids complaining about the cost of the dress or the taste of the food will hurt her. Think about who you are venting to – it will get around.

Just because it might not be your style of beautiful it is hers, and appreciate it for what it is … and thank your friend or family member for all of the time putting the puzzle together for their ideal day!

For The Guys:

Perfect for Tailgating! Check out Vat19.com for details

Black Bar Glasses to hide the identity of your friends after a crazy night.  Order them at Catching Fireflies

Holds 5 Beers..Drink fast boys or it will quickly get warm! —> Catching Fireflies

For the Girls:

I love all of the creative designs these aprons from   offer.  You will have fun picking out a style that meets each women’s personality.  ——>Wrapables

Keep your door open with some style.  I love these high heel shoe stoppers!! —–> Spoon Sisters

Purse size cocktail shakers. Be able to mix up your favorite drink anywhere with a fashionable touch.  ——>Wrapables

Ok Brides, lets be honest with one another.  Does the thought of whether or not your bridesmaids can re-wear their dresses for your wedding truly go through you head?  Do you think about the colors of your chapel or reception first or is the tone that looks best with your maid of honor a strong consideration?  We have all seen 27 Dresses and laughed and the ridiculous designs that some weddings can produce. While at the time the themed dress or outrageous color seemed to fit into the day, how did it fit 1 year later?

What makes a bridesmaids dress re-wearable?

Color?

Style?

Length?

Now we are seeing many more trends with bridesmaids dresses, and I do believe brides are putting more of a focus on their friends than before.

Many brides are working with all black bridesmaids dresses, and letting each bridesmaid choose which style they want.  This is works well so everyone feels confident on the day of walking down the aisle.  During the winter months brides are using floor length dresses which are easily altered to cocktail or above the knee dresses worn to parties.

What are other considerations you put into your choice of bridesmaids dresses?

A year a half ago my sister wrote me a letter before my wedding and posted it on her blog.  This is her way of expressing herself and it was her speech to me and everyone who will read it, of what she would want me to know before I married Josh that day (We both ended up marrying Josh’s).  Today is her birthday and I want to celebrate all sisters, especially mine!  As a sister you are there no matter what to love and support the other, no matter how different you are or what the situation may be.  I have learned that is the funny thing about family, you stop asking why or how and you love blindly and unconditionally.  My sister was lucky to find her Josh who I know loves her and takes care of her every day.  Her hobbies and interests couldn’t be further from mine which makes them all the more interesting to me.  She is able to manipulate coupons to save money and harvest, can and cook with her own vegetables from her garden.  She will be programming a computer during the day and go home and cook a 4 course meal without any recipes.   I still have a lot to learn from her but am happy to be celebrating with her today! Happy 26th!

Speaking in front of a crowd is always nerve wrecking – if your sister’s or brother’s wedding is coming up make it personal and write them a letter… Mine Did!

Dear Caroline,

Four days.

In four days, you’ll be married. A lot will happen between now and then. Your friends and family will arrive in town. You’ll be whisked from place to place for all the dinners and luncheons leading up to the Big Day. Much giggling and anticipation and primping will go on, and this day you’ve waited years and years for will finally arrive, and you and Josh will be married.

Two years ago today, June 3rd, 2006, I married my Josh. The event was very different than all you have planned- but we’ve always known we are different. Our events reflect ourselves and the relationship we’re celebrating. I wouldn’t have changed one thing about our day, and I’m sure you’ll feel the same about yours! (Well, unless it rains.)

I challenge you for a moment, in the midst of the chaos and social events and preparations, to think of what YOUR next two years will look like. You’ve watched Josh and I, and we both know you and your Josh will have different adventures over the next two years. We moved to the suburbs less than half an hour from both our parents- you guys are headed to the Big City a few hours away, living the high life in a high rise. We chose to settle down in our psuedo-farm, and you guys will be jet-setting all over the country. Our lives will continue to be different, as they always have been.

As different as our circumstances will look, however, you will face many of the same things we have over the last two years. You’ll have to figure out how to manage your newfound salaries. You’ll have to learn to pay bills, deal with insurance, and make spending decisions together. You’ll have to decide what church to attend in the new area. You’ll have to decide together how to decorate the new place. You’ll have to cook. You’ll have to both figure out how to balance Couple Time with New Job time. You’ll have to figure out what chores each of you are good at or don’t mind doing and share responsibility in the home. These are all experiences every new couple has, and you guys will get comfortable with your own “groove”.

Figuring out who takes out the trash or who cooks dinner or who sends the check to the electric company will all fall into place- as long as you guys communicate often and well. Communication, frequently and respectfully, has been the biggest part of making us a Team. When we listen to each other, feelings don’t get hurt, no one gets misunderstood, and problems get solved better and faster. It will be especially critical for you guys, if Josh ends up traveling a good part of the time. Keeping up with each other, taking time each evening to reflect on your day and be a part of each other’s lives each evening after the rush and stress of work will be so important.

This morning Josh said to me, “I need you. That’s what I’ve learned over the past two years.” I can wholeheartedly agree. At my first anniversary, I looked back and saw that Josh had allowed me to blossom- to become more of who I am. This year, I look back and see how we’ve spent the last two years becoming one. We’re more a team today than we ever have been, and I know we will continue this mystical becoming-one, team-making process for the rest of our lives. We need each other more than ever before. We work together and alongside each other to get mutual and individual goals accomplished, and it is a joy to serve one another. On your wedding day, Caroline, you’ll be starry-eyed, head-over-heels in love with your Josh, absolutely certain the two of you could never be more in love. And then! After the wedding day! During the following months, you’ll be amazed (as I was) how you can become even more in love than you are right now. 

Marriage is great. I highly recommend it. I’m excited for you.

Love, 
Your big sister

The note you write your sister/brother won’t be forgotten, it will be saved and re-read later on.

Happy Birthday Joanna!

Along the same lines of robes, these bath towel dresses are also a fun way to thank your girlfriends for their support over the years.

**I am always thinking about ways to create great photography opportunities, and this is one of them!  Have your photographer meet you and your bridesmaids at the spa the morning of the wedding as you get your hair and nails done in your personalized robes!

Sources:  Pink Frosting, The Knot, Monograms Etc., Get Married

As all of the upcoming spring and summer brides are preparing for their outdoor weddings, why not create a program that is not only informative but functional and fun!  I love these fan programs for outdoor weddings, they are a great DIY project that your guests will appreciate!

They are a bit time consuming but worth every minute! Make sure you order heavy card stock for your paper so that your fans aren’t flimsy.  Cut the ribbons to the length and thickness that you desire and then gather a group of your bridesmaids and start an assembly line!

*Find the perfect wording/font and print them at a local copy shop

* Cut out each fan section very carefully!

* Punch a hole in the lower portion of the fan section

*Loop the ribbon through all of the fan sections

* Admire your great work!!

**UPDATE: If you are interested in creating your own DIY fan download it below!

Wedding Fan Template