Dear Bridesmaids…

Dear Bridesmaids,

This is a simple reminder that the day is not about you. I write this with an open mind that yes you might be wearing the most awful color dress, or the cut of the dress might make you look a few pounds heavier. Your ex might be standing up on the groom’s side and you may only get to see the bride once during the entire wedding reception, but this 12 hours is not about you.


Planning a wedding is like putting together a huge puzzle, specifically a puzzle where you don’t know what the final picture will look like.  The key is that every bride has a different set of puzzle pieces.  No wedding will have the same pieces, which is why every wedding has a new fabulous final product.  No one can fully understand all of the hoops and twists it takes to gather the couple’s two families together for one day.

Your closest friend or family member has asked you to stand next to them in full support of their new marriage.  I suggest if you can’t fully support them you kindly turn down their offer.   Even if you think the songs of the wedding are outdated, or you are still holding a grudge against the groom from elementary school, none of that matters on their wedding day.

As a bridesmaid you are asked to stick to a pretty tight time schedule and give a lot of your energy to activities such as dress shopping, rehearsals and wedding talk that does not center around you.  Trust me , I understand that this can be wearing and you may even think that your best friend doesn’t care about whats going on in your life anymore. She does.

Maybe you are married and understand, but once you begin planning a wedding there are so many ideas, plans and projects going on in your head it is hard to think about much anything else.  All I can say to the girls standing to the right of the bride is to be patient.  Give the bride a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.  Let your bride go on and on about how the caterer is being difficult and the photographer hasn’t finished the engagement photos – because when it is your time around you will wish the same.    Don’t complain about the style of the wedding or the music being played, just enjoy it for what it is.  A perfectly designed wedding for your best friend’s day… not yours!

Finally, your opinion does matter.  Each bridesmaid was hand-picked as someone the bride feels has blessed her life.  Hearing rumors of one of her bridesmaids complaining about the cost of the dress or the taste of the food will hurt her. Think about who you are venting to – it will get around.

Just because it might not be your style of beautiful it is hers, and appreciate it for what it is … and thank your friend or family member for all of the time putting the puzzle together for their ideal day!