He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
-Clarence Budington Kelland.

This is not an unrealistic expectation.  Expecting the focus to be on  you, on YOUR wedding day does not seem out of line, but there are numerous brides that become bridezillas due to this expectation not being met.

YES you are the bride and the day is about you

YES you spent the past year preparing for this day and planning every detail

YES you have a lot of money invested in the day

YES you have been working out, tanning and beautifying so that you look your best on this day

YES you attended everyone else’s wedding and centered the attention on them, now it is your turn

Now I am going to make a side-note that I am asking you to understand – Everyone else has their lives happening at the same time as your wedding. Although this is an obvious statement – some brides take the ‘Focus on me’ to the extreme and want everyone else’s lives to be put on hold.  There is a difference between wanting the focus to be on you and being selfishly ignorant of others emotions, relationships and problems around you.

This is a hard expectation to write about because there are bridesmaids that get jealous and attempt to dramatically steal the attention – trust me I’ve seen it!  But there are also bridesmaids and family members that genuinely want the focus to be on their bride but may have a tough situation going on in their own life.  This expecation I believe is a two way street – Brides need to realize that lives do go on and be patient, but bridesmaids and family need to realize that there is a huge expectation of every bride to want the attention on them, just for the day.

What do you think – is this truly a two way street?

This may seem like a selfish expectation to those who have not yet planned a wedding. But when your time comes and you put a year into organizing your wedding and an average of $30,000+ for the day, you may be surprised how your expectations will change.

I have heard numerous people quote an etiquette belief – when attending a wedding in New York for example that your gift as a guest is expected to be equal to the amount that the host is spending per person at the wedding.  So if you estimate that the reception price is around $100 per person your gift should reflect the same.  I would love to hear from others if this etiquette expectation is true and if so where it is practiced.

I don’t necessarily believe that you have to look solely at cost and numbers when you attend a wedding but I do think that by accepting an invitation, as a thoughtful gesture you should give the couple a gift of celebration.  It is assumed you have up to one year to give your gift, so if you don’t show up with an elegant box don’t fret.  I remember I received a gift 8 months after my wedding and it was a fabulous surprise and I was just as grateful 8 months later for the thought.

What are your thoughts/experiences on expectations of bringing gifts to a wedding?

As a bride you go into your wedding with many expectations of the planning process, of the guests attending, and of the final day itself.  I want to know what a few of those expectations are – and if they played out as planned!

Choose up to 3 answers that are related to your expectations – and leave a comment with whether or not they came true.

Source: Jamie K Photography